Purple Fly Community

Are you one (or with one) of the so called “commitment phobia”? If you are unsure, let see if this sounds familiar to you?

1) “He just won’t make a commitment.”
2) “She just want some space right now.”
3) “I’m not sure if I’m ready for a serious relationship.”
4) “I’m just under a lot of stress right now.”
5) “It’s not you, it’s me.”
6) “I can’t focus on a relationship right now because of my overloaded schedule.”
7) When she thought of being with you, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

or this? if your answer is YES

8 ) Are you concerned about the idea of forever?
9 ) Do you fear you could make a mistake in who you choose?
10) Do you fear a loss of your freedom?
11) Are you afraid of a bad marriage- like your parents for instance
12) Do you fear you would be a bad mate?

or this? Unsure about the relationship

13) It seems like we are only killing time
14) He doesn’t understand what I want.
15) We seem to be off and on in our level of contact/affection.
16) I am still not over a past relationship.
17) I just don’t seem to know what I want.

OMG, if yes, I am afraid you are one (or with one) of the many men and women who have commitment phobia. You may wonder what’s commitment phobia or fear of commitment, the phrase ‘fear of commitment’ appears to explain more than it actually does, or you can go details in wikipedia here.

Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.

Okay, let’s make it simple, commitment means giving up freedom.

There are many reasons and could be different between us; but often the outcomes are the same. Many commitment phobian just afraid of the idea someone having to count on them. They often feel alone in the world and left to fight their own battles. They don’t give in to others easily because they are afraid of getting hurt. This is because they fear of not being able to fulfill the responsibilities in each relationship, either afraid of not doing it correctly or they just don’t want to put forth the effort involved. They are not ready to settle down because they are  inconfident due to their family background (broken family), do not have the traveling they’d always hoped to do, or healed completely from a past relationship. Worst still, they are struggling with internal conflicts about who they are and what they want.

They have messy lifestyles. Some of these individuals get into sexual promiscuity whom are willing to have relationship without string attach, tend to look for FUBU (relationship just for sex) or look for one night stand to fulfill their needs. It’s more than what I can list here but apparently it may not as serious as listed.

Lastly, are you one of the commitment phobe?