Purple Fly Community

 Ever wonder what you want in your life? What to be a successful entrepeuner? A popular singer? A hardworking boss with hundreds of employees? A Noble Price winner? An Oscar winner? What you want to be actually?

A close friend of mine, he says he wanted to have “a house and a happy family” only? He ever asks why is that so difficult to achieve his simple wishes? I replied him, saying “because you ask for the most hardest things to come true”.

Look at the people around you. How many of them are actully living with what they want? I remembered a respectful uncle of mine advised me: “Young girl, your life depends on yourselve and it’s in your hand!” I believed in him since that, however, as I grew older, I came to realised it’s not neccessary the way I thought of it.

Life is cruel, some people tried very hard to get what they want but they couldn’t get. On the other hand, some people have all the luck. Do you think life is fair and even? No matter how much we tried but what we got back generally is only half of it. Sorry to say, we tried our best. As a young and enthusiastic person, to me, I still am searching for what I want in my life. A simple life with a happy family? Definitely yes, but I am still working my way through.. 

Are you satisfy with your life, wonder if you are given a chance to exchange life with someone would you want to do it?

Someone says “I don’t like my life at the moment,but it won’t be better if my life is exchanged with someone else’s life. We all have problems, the only thing that matters is to be pleased with your life. No ones life is perfect,and some people we think have a perfect life have even more problems than us!” How about you??

Does sex distinguish the ego of a person? Have you guys dated ego maniac or know of someone who behaved like that? Men and women are ego too?

 ”According to the dictionary, Ego is a part of the mind that develops from the individual’s experience of the outside world. It operates in direct contact with reality, and is concerned with processing and evaluating information about the importance of and relationships between specific actions and behaviours of the individual. It is one of the three elements of Freudian theory. The ego, which is thought to have developed from the id attempts to reconcile the unconscious primitive demands of the id with the constraints imposed by the superego and with the individual’s awareness of the real world.”

It really annoys me. Especially when they’re the type who attempt to push themselves up by pushing everyone else down. It’s also a sign of insecurity, insecure people seem to do it more. Just like bullies in elementary school. Those bullies grow up, and eventually, some still remain the same. Too bad they can’t just learn to mature. On the other hand, the bullies-wanna-be, who were picked on mostly during early age; later in life, they prefer to pick on others in cowardly ways such as putting others down behind a computer screen, or yelling at telemarketers, who are just doing their jobs by the way, they can’t help it. Basically, they choose to pick on those who they think can’t do anything about it.  That’s why guys are more prone to act EGOly at the grown up age of their life.

Of course I came across women who are superego, such as bossy lady. Not to mention some of the lady bosses, I personally experienced many times. Ironically, having an EGO personality is not a wise choice because we think problems through, observe behaviours and then make judgements based on right actions. Ego doesn’t take into consideration of one’s feelings, intuition or ways of knowing other than logical thinking. When we being more considerate and little of toleration, we tend to think of others emotional. That’s why women are less prone to having this superego personality, in general speaking. This is because we are caring. Haha.

What do you think? Any women are more ego can speak up?

Allow me to say something before i started to point my finger to the menhood.

As defined in the Bible, manhood is a functional reality, demonstrated in a man’s fulfillment of responsibility and leadership. A  man is called to fulfill his role as husband and father in marriage and fatherhood. Marriage is unparalleled in its effect on men, as it channels their energies and directs their responsibilities to the devoted covenant of marriage in order to create the dynamic and harmony of a family.

On the other hand, a real man knows how to hold a job, handle money with responsibility and take care of the needs of his wife and family. A failure to develop economic maturity means that young men often float from job to job, and take years to “find themselves” in terms of career and vocation. Once again, an extended adolescence marks a huge segment of today’s young male population. Slothfulness, laziness and economic carelessness are marks of immaturity. A real man knows how to earn, manage and respect money.

Why do some of the guys always can’t fulfill his own responsibilty as a guy as a lovely husband to his wife; at the same time as a devoted father to his children? Why is that so hard to take action and always let us down? Are we asking too much from a guy?

Let me convince you more: As a boy grows into manhood, he must develop moral maturity as he aspires to righteousness. Stereotypical behavior on the part of young males is, in the main, marked by recklessness, irresponsibility and worse.  Of course, this requires the exercise of responsible moral reasoning. Is that right to say that men acquire the irresponsibility “attitude” during their growing process??

Anybody can defence for me? or object my saying? Thanks!

Yes, what kind of lover are you? Do you think of it when you had an argument with your loved one? Do this question came into your mind and recall what you have done all this while for him or her? If not, you may want to know are you being the best lover you can do for him or her. Glad if you have such thought in mind as understanding what kind of lover are you and what kind of lover is your partner? You can find out something that can be changed to make your love life much better and satisfying as all of us are different. We all have different emotional make-up, different background/childhood and different value systems. Some of you have a predominant emotion that may be constructive or destructive. Each of us may have their way to look at a relationships, in turn it motivate us differently and derive our satisfaction with different goals.

Characteristic are equally different so do lovers. Just pick any lover, and you will find a unique specimen. To begin with how do people look at love?

1. Are you those who fear of rejection? If you do, you may want to avoid getting involved in an intimate relationship beyond a limit.

2. Do you feel good being in love, if someone loves you? This shows that it satisfies your urge to know that you are being treasured and appreciated. So love reassures you about worth.

3. Do you find yourself want to give all you can to your partner without expecting anything in return? All you wanted is to please your partner. But you may find yourself getting frustrated after giving for a long time and begin complaining about not receiving anything in return.

4. Do you feel yourself weak inside and seeking a partner to protect you? You may or may not show this need, but you will complain if the need of protection is not satisfied.

5. Do you find yourself successful in your love life? Confident and self-dependent? If yes, this could be that you know how to express healthy love, but may ignore the partner after sometime, if your partner does not match your intellectual skills.

6. Do you find yourself have a hard time to express love in words? If yes, don’t feel bad about it as I am sure such a lover will does his/her best to care for their partner.

Human beings are complicated individuals and love, being an extension of the personality, is equally difficult to understand. So let’s check out below more in-depth description to find your personal style, and get to know how you can keep your relationship long, healthy and happy.

Romantic Lover

Romantic Lover is someone who love being in love. You are easily attracted to new lover because of their looks or other appealing physical attributes. After some while, you may get disappointed when they change over time.

Maybe you should remember that true love doesn’t recede because of him or her, it’s between both of you who try to work thing out, and romance doesn’t have to fade as the relationship matures. The best thing when you seem to see the relationship getting constant, you can plan wonderful dates, make some surprise, weekend getaways, or just-the-two-of-you vacations to rekindle the spark that ignited your relationship.

List-Maker Lover

List-Maker is someone who has criteria that are important, and you won’t change them. No matter how committed you’re in a relationship, you always want your partner to live up to your standards, but you wouldn’t know that this could pressure your partner.

Let’s just forget about the list, the list is more important than someone you love? If it does, you should be warns that clinging to those must-haves could mean a chafed relationship or a lonely life. What make an ultimate love is companionship and forgiveness. Not what you tend to impress outsiders.

Obsessive Lover

What make you so obsess? An obsessive lover is someone who wants to spend all your time with your partner. You may worry about your relationship constantly, even together for years. Being such a lover can drive your partner crazy and feel irritate.

Give your partner a break, don’t crowd your lover, realize that too much of a good thing can be too much. You may need talk to someone or probably a counselor and understand why you feel so insecure in your relationship, what you fear of losing? When you get to understand yourself more it may help you find ways to put your relationship in perspective.

Giver Lover

You may find yourself give more than you get being such a lover. Also at some point, you may just give all the way only a way and not 2 ways. If you are expecting a return treat, you may find it hard and somehow when you continuously giving, you may come to an end working selflessly to meet your partner’s needs. From that point of time, you’re not looking after yourself, because he or she is much more important than you. It may be harmful to you.

Get a life, you can be yourself by developing your own interests, hang out with friends and spare some time to do things you like and of course without your partner sometimes.

Player Lover

Playboy or playgirl? You love courtship. As a player lover, you enjoy the chasing part. You get bored fast in long-term relationships, when it comes, you will be looking around for new target.

If you know you are such a lover, better avoid situation that could lead to affairs. That’s not good. Since you are easily tempt, try to get out of it and don’t ever try to have a drink with your interesting colleague (Gorgeous One Surely). Try to think it other ways, if you want to look for excitement with others, why don’t you get to do new things with your partner and see a whole new him or her? 

Pal Lover

Impossible can be possible with love. Pal lover start of as friend and both knew they were just friend and after spending a lot of time together, the love just blossomed and then realize you’re in love. In the long term, your relationship may be quiet, but it’s strong.

You can be more than what friend can do, don’t trap in platonic love. You need moments of romance. Maybe you should both have candlelight dinner or possibly a passionate kiss on him or her. This could remind you and shows your partner that both of you think are sexy and exciting.

After going through the list of lover, do you know what kind of lover are you now? I hope so and if it does not, it could be a new variant of love haven’t been identified. Feel free to drop me some comment to enlighten me. Before I end this, here’s wonderful poem which could keep you in good mood of love. Enjoys …

Love does not settle.
It pulses and flickers,
Migrating during seasons,
As if on feathered wings.

Love does not compromise.
It knows not of choice,
Giving favors to many,
As if a saint from within.

Love does not understand.
It fails to see reality,
Weaving feeling and impossibility,
As if a great story teller.

Love does not recede.
Love does not respect.
Love does not redeem.

Love is human.