Archive for August, 2007

What’s your biggest lie you have told? I do believe everyone do lie once in their lifetime. Men lie. Women lie. But while men lie to boost his ego, women lie to spare someone’s feelings or to avoid conflict.

“Men and women lie for different reasons. Men need to feed their ego. They need to flaunt their assets and way of thinking. Men’s lies are very creative. In relation to this, a women lies in order to help the men satisfactorily feed his ego. Women tend to lie to spare someone’s feelings or to avoid conflict.”

clinical psychologist Anisha Trivedi

So, although women are the top liar, they lie to spare someone’s feelings or to avoid conflict. What do men lie? Boosting ego? Acceptable?.

Okay, I started this post not to encouraged lie, I personally think if you lie to avoid conflict, but sometimes it will get worsen if the truth is revealed. Honest gain more self respect.

5 Lies men tell women:

1) “I’m sorry.”
Sounds familiar, men no.1 lie. When a man says this, it is only to make a quick escape from a situation. He wants to avoid further interrogation, or a few more tears from his women.

2) “Yes, I am still available and very much single.”
Cut the crap men, when a man says this, it is to make the women feel secure. Men will lie about this to impress her and grab more attention from her when approaching a woman. Men see dating game as a competition. So they self-dramatize.

3) “You DON’T look fat”

Every woman will get upset if they look fat. For men, the best answer when a woman asks “Do I look fat with the dress I am wearing”,  I bet you’ll say “Of course not!”.

4) “15 minutes more I will reach there”
Men, you are never on time. Don’t get me wrong, women always wait for men. Women often feel that their men do not give them top priority in their life. They feel that men have more important issues in life to deal with. Hence, to make a woman feel that he also cares about her, the man lies to her to show her that he is making all the effort to get there on time.

5) “Your mom is my mom, I love spending time with her”
To win women’s heart is through family, some men find this way to make women feel  that he really cares about her, men want to make sure he is involved with her. Involvement with family, friends and work.

5 Lies women tell men:

1) “Yes, I’m 21 years old.”
To women age is secret. The most common lie women tell men is about their age. Women lie their age because they wanted men to feel that they are young or it’s because in some way they feel that their age is not acceptable.

2) “I want to break up.”
No, a woman doesn’t always mean it when they say they want to break up. They wants to grab men’s attention and wants him put in a little more effort and give him an empty threat.

3) “I have a boyfriend.”
Men and women are opposite in some ways. A woman does not want to make herself look too available. A woman says this because she may want to hurt his ego or to make him feel jealous although she do have some feelings towards the guy. Is either how wise the guy is, if he won’t take no for the answer, make him feel like you are involved with someone. Got it?

4) “You’re the only one for me.”

We feed your ego men !. A woman says this to pamper a male’s ego. When a woman says this, she means to communicate to her man his importance.

5) “I’m not mad at you.”
Women usually can’t let it go. Instead of admitting that she’s actually quite hurt by his relatively minor offense, the woman will half-heartedly pretend that she doesn’t care at all. In reality, she does care, very much so.

Before I end this, what’s your biggest lie you have told in your past?

Communication failure? Read this..  

  

#1:Rehearse your approach

Mentally rehearse- plan what you’re going to say, how she’s likely to respond and what you’re going to do in each possible situation. Take the time to mentally rehearse all of the steps of the approach in detail; the words you’ll use and the voice tone and body language, too. Also plan for how you’re going to physically and emotionally respond to a woman who isn’t interested in talking to you, and practice how you’ll handle the worst possible situation that may come up. When you do, you’ll realize there’s nothing more for you to fear.

Tip #2: Get success minded

If we have just one unsuccessful experience, we “learn” that what we did doesn’t work. If we have several of these negative experiences, we become CONVINCED whatever it is we’ve been doing doesn’t work. This type of reasoning can spill over into our self-images and we begin to wonder. Many men try to start a conversation or two with women, but when things don’t go as planned they decide something is wrong with them and that they have “failed.” But the way to turn any failure into a success is to LEARN from it. Success-minded individuals don’t see failure when they don’t have success right away.

Tip #3: Appeal to her “weird” side

Every woman has a weird, dorky, off-beat side, but most men don’t get to see or interact with this side for very long. The key is for you to know that this side of her is in there, and then to talk to it and draw it out by teasing, latching on when you see it, etc. This is part of the key to giving her the experience of “I feel so comfortable with you,” and giving her the feeling that she’s known you for a long time. When she suddenly realizes you’re talking to that dorky side of her that few other men can bring out of her she’ll begin to feel much more at ease with you.

Tip #4: Get through the first few minutes

Most men don’t realize this, but 99% of the first few minutes of your conversation with any woman aren’t about HER. A woman will play all sorts of games to block your progress so she can slow things down and maintain control. The last thing she wants to happen is for things to get hot and heavy too quickly, which may cause you to lose respect for her. Even if a woman really likes you, she’ll probably be resistant at first, and even act uninterested. Some women get nervous around men, especially when they’re attracted to him. Don’t take any of this stuff personally, just be patient and persist.

Tip #5: Remember keys to starting conversations with women

When you see a cute girl: Always approach a girl within three seconds, don’t procrastinate. Saying anything is better than saying nothing at all. You can only learn at worst, and lessons are priceless. If this one doesn’t work, there will be 100 more in the future. It’s all upside, and no downside.

Tip #6: Stay out of the “loop”

People get stuck in “inaction loops.” In other words, we FREEZE. Why? Because men try to come up with something “original and charming” to say; men try to think of the perfect compliment; men imagine she’s not single and that she’ll react negatively; or they start thinking there’s no way she’d be interested in a guy like them. Do whatever it takes to stay OUT of these deadly loops. A simple solution is to just walk over and use a standard conversation opener. Keep it simple and the main point is don’t over-think yourself right out of the game.

Tip #7: Get a handle on fear

The fear of approaching a woman; the fear of rejection; the fear attractive women won’t like you; the fear of making a physical advance: These things are all UNIVERSAL-almost all men experience them in one way or another. You need to realize that this stuff is natural and you CAN overcome it if you want. The first step is to stop putting too much importance on any one situation and start thinking long-term and of the big picture. Focus on learning the SKILL. Girls will come and go, but when you develop the skill of getting ANY girl, it will last a lifetime.

Tip #8: Stop worrying about going out alone

Most men feel like fools if they go out to meet women alone. They don’t like going to bars or clubs without a buddy or two because they have the irrational thought that women will think they’re losers because they’re not there with someone and they feel like everyone is watching them and judging them for being alone. But most of the guys I know who are the MOST successful with women actually PREFER to go out alone. Try this: Go out alone one night this weekend with mind not to meet women, but simply to watch and notice that no one cares about you at ALL.

Tip #9: Incorporate different places into your weekly routine

Most guys have schedules that don’t put them into close proximity with a ton of women, and then they complain that it’s so hard to meet them. As part of the natural flow of your life, include a coffee shop near a busy shopping or business district, a restaurant that hires a lot of attractive women and has a lot of turnover, and a trendy shopping mall. When you do, you won’t believe how many opportunities you’ll have to hone your skills for approaching women.

Tip #10: Start chatting up EVERYONE

Part of the very CORE of successfully starting conversations with women is BASIC social skills. It’s important to practice starting conversations with as many people as possible, then use those skills with women you’re attracted to. Take advantage of every situation you can to start conversations and connect with people. Most importantaly don’t be picky. If you start five conversations a day for the next 90 days, you’ll have started 450 new conversations with strangers. This ALONE will go a long way to reprogram your instinctive “fear approach response.”

According to a recent New York Times poll, 51 percent of women in 2005 reported they live without a spouse. Census data from that same year finds that older widows and divorced women often don’t opt for remarriage. One reason many older women don’t get married again is they have been through marriage and don’t want to start over with a new man and relationship that may not be good.

 What most experts suggested is to understand your motivations. Ask friends that you trust and who know your history for feedback about how you’re conducting your dating life. By doin this can help you sort things out.

An aunty of mine, who is social worker and never been married. Initially she viewed every man as a potential marriage partner. She was so desperated to get a man as her life partner. Too much pressure had been poured into her relationships. After some year of failure, she came to realize that her life works as is. She even adopted a child on her own. Actually she think it would be hard to fit a man into her daily routine. Nowadays she dates to date. While keeping herself in an attachment-free emotional state is healthier and less off-putting than her former ‘must marry, must marry’ mantra. Can there be a happy medium?

Expert says, “Even if your agenda is ultimately to find the one, having a casual, nonjudgmental attitude toward men allows you to lower your expectations, thus suffering fewer disappointments. And you’re more appealing than when you clutch. On the other hand, you  can better enjoy a date in the moment if you’re not obsessing about the future.

Isn’t it true? Definately a stress-free relationship is much easier to maintain and long lasting. Happy Dating and good luck!!

The big three rules here to keep the relationship growing, this is especially helpful for those in long- distance relationship. Happy reading. 

Women love the phone. To guys, the phone is an alien world,  rarely and briefly as possible. But, the harsh reality is that making the phone call is needed if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. In order to help you navigate your way through, I’ve developed a guide of some basic phone call rules.

#1: crucial timing

The first phone call rule to consider is when to call. Call too soon and you’ll reek of desperation; call too late and she may have lost all interest in you. If you’ve just acquired her number, wait at least two days before calling. Don’t make the mistake of calling her the very next day just to let her know that you’re interested, she’ll think you have no real life to get on with. But don’t wait too long, that call within four days, before she gets angry or, worse, forgets who you are. Nothing is more humiliating than trying to jog her memory with the happenings of the night that you met: “I met you the other day, remember the funny guy with the cornflower blue tie…”

Once you enter the dating phase of the relationship, this phone call rule becomes more relaxed. After a date, always call within one day. You don’t have to arrange another date with this call; it can be made simply to thank her for a good time.

#2: Have a reason for your call

This phone call rule states that you should always have a reason to call her. Women love to sit on the phone and chat the hours away, but they should do this with friends. Call her up with a purpose in mind; it can be as simple as to check or confirm something. Maybe can start as a simple mention of a seafood restaurant can turn into her recounting all the trips.

After three or so months, the phone call rules deem it acceptable to be more spontaneous in making a call. You still must have a reason for it, but the reason needn’t be as rigid as it was in the earlier stages. You can call her to tell her about a movie you just saw or how the business trip is going, but it’s still forbidden to let her know that you’re calling just to hear her voice. While you are steering the talk, don’t treat it like a call to your buddy: “Beer. Eight o’clock. See ya.” Women need some substance in a call.

#3: Keep it brief

So, aside from the real reason for the call, what do you talk about? Ideally, you are calling to get to a point, keep it sweet and get out of there. Keep in mind that this is the warm-up for the date, not a date through technology, so do most of the talking in person. In the real world, however, she will want to talk for a while. Indulge her desire, but adhere to this phone call rule: Keep it short, with her wanting more.

Although you’re taking charge of the call, don’t dominate the conversation. Humor is always good, but don’t overdo it or you’ll come across as a clown. The best thing to talk about is her. Talk about these things to personalize the call. Ask open-ended questions about her work, her friends or how her day has been; the beautiful part about such questions is that you can usually reply with just ”Yes” or ”Mmm”. Don’t be afraid to move things along if she lingers on one topic too long.

Good luck!

This should be pretty helpful for u Guys!!!

1. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go “Damn!” and then laugh appreciatively to yourself - we can hear you.

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

3. If you don’t act like soap-opera guys, don’t expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.

6. Just because you L the C doesn’t mean we have to S the D.

7. This is how we see it . . . Don’t call = Don’t Care.

8. Which also means that if we don’t call, take the hint.

9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.

11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.

13. We’re allowed to be late . . . you are not.

14. Eye contact is key.

15. Don’t take longer to get ready than we do.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win… not kidding .. we ALWAYS win

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn’t think so.

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! Ever!

24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. Come on guys…most of you have more PMS then us girls..

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. I know it seems like a lot but is it that hard?

26. We love surprises!

27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!

30. Clean your room before we come over.

31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity plus we do the same for you.

32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

34. Sometimes even when you think we hate you, we don’t, we just want you to apologize so we can be allowed to love you again

35. Don’t act hard around your friends because I won’t make you hard tonight. AKA don’t be an ass

36. Sometimes “NO!” really means “NO!”

37. “Wife Beaters” are not an adequate form of fashion.

38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we’d be a porn star not your girlfriend.

39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn’t right.

40. Don’t let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough!!!!!

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

43. “Fat Chicks” have feelings too–all chicks have feelings.

44. Silent treatment + shoulder shrugs + tears + yelling + nasty looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.

46. Just because a girl doesn’t pick up on the first ring doesn’t mean she’s not waiting by the phone.

47. You don’t have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

48. Don’t say you love me if you don’t mean it.

49. Don’t lie to us . . . we will catch you…eventually we always catch you.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends knows everything about you.

Happy knowing and I am sure you do. Come on, I know u guys are lovely but please be more compassionate towards girls. It’s because we are fragile yet lovely.